We're on Day 14 of the government shutdown, all because Speaker Boehner and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell don't know how to keep their party in check. There's a lot that the GOP could learn from a P-I-M-P. Hell, there's a lot they could have learned from Nancy Pelosi, who still keeps her party in check without benefit or need of the title of Speaker.
Mind you, I've written admiringly about pimps before, not because I respect what they do, but because I respect their ability to get something so morally bankrupt done with minimal (or minimized) transaction costs. If pimps (well, real pimps, not government pimps) were running the GOP, Senator Ted Cruz' idiot idea of shutting down the government until Obamacare was defunded would not have gotten far. (And kudos to Bob Schieffer for repeatedly asking how the GOP let Ted Cruz get this far. As far as I'm concerned, Bob Schieffer is the only thinking journalist on the Sunday morning talk show circuit.)
You see, pimpin' runs on rules and hierarchy that maintain smooth relations (and pardon the language -- it's the language of pimpin', not mine). Rule: A bitch can't look a pimp in the eye. Rule: When a pimp is walking on the sidewalk, a bitch gets off of it. Rule: A bitch can't talk to pimps other than her own. Rule: A pimp's bottom bitch has seniority and priority over the pimp's other bitches.
If seniority and hierarchy account for anything, and analogizing to pimpin', how is it that Senator Ted Cruz, who is, shall we say, "new to the game," able to lead a cabal of new bitches to shut down the government without the pimps (party leaders) keeping them in check? At the very least, no government shutdown formed in Congress should have gone off without the say-so of Speaker Boehner and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, as well as the say-so of more senior pimps, uh, leaders, like Senator John McCain (Mack of the Year, 2008). Even if the party leaders agreed with it, they, and not the Tea Party bitches new to the game, should have been leading the shutdown and deciding what terms would lead to the government's reopening, not the other way around. GOP, where are your rules? Where is your hierarchy? Where is your pimp game?
If Senator Cruz were a bitch, he'd be considered "out of pocket." The other pimps would have had permission to beat him for being "out of pocket" and leading the other bitches astray.
I guess the GOP's senior pimps, uh, leaders, have absolutely no pimp game whatsoever and definitely less than Nancy Pelosi. Imagine that.
Could someone from the GOP call Too Short so we can get the government running again?
Oh, and Speaker Boehner, the first rule of pimpin'? Don't love them bitches. Just sayin'.
Showing posts with label Tea Party. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tea Party. Show all posts
Dear Mr. President: Don't Blink, But Do Fart On Their Heads
Dear Mr. President,
When boys wrestle, especially brothers, the ultimate in victory is for the winning boy to not only sit on head of the defeated boy, but to fart on his head as well. In families, it's usually the older brother who ends up sitting and farting on the head of his younger brother as a deterrent to future challenges. Mr. President, you didn't grow up with brothers, but there's a lesson to be learned from the wrestling of boys.
But first, Mr. President, I have a message for you from my sister regarding this standoff with congressional Republicans: Don't blink.
In this standoff/government shutdown, there's far more at stake than just a budget or the debt ceiling. As you've so aptly put it, what is at stake is the ability to govern without being forced into false crises created by a small contingent of Republicans who are out of step with the majority of the nation. So my sister's advice to you, Mr. President, is to continue to stand toe-to-toe with them and don't even think about blinking. Don't flinch. Stand your ground. Which leads to a message from me:
Don't just sit on their heads; fart on their heads.
I, like so many other Americans, am so weary of Tea Party efforts to derail the Affordable Care Act, also known as "Obamacare." It's the law. They need to get over it and move on. The rest of the country has. Given that many of these representatives represent broke-ass states with people who desperately need health care (and could stand to back away from the fast food joints and processed foods in general) but fear anything with the word "Obama" in it, they ought to just move on. But shutting down the government and threatening the first U.S. government default ever? Now that deserves not just sitting on their heads, but farting on them, too.
The Republicans know they have backed themselves into a corner and are looking for a way out. They know that, the longer this goes on, the more dim their hopes become of recapturing the White House in 2016. They know all of this, but like a little brother wrestling his older, bigger brother, they don't know how to get out of this political headlock that will eventually lead to the political equivalent of you not just sitting on their heads, but farting on them as well.
When they capitulate, and they will, Mr. President, take that victory lap. Do whatever is the political equivalent of sitting and farting on their heads so they will think twice about pulling this stunt again.
Don't blink, Mr. President. But do fart on their heads, so to speak.
Sincerely,
Black Woman Blogging
When boys wrestle, especially brothers, the ultimate in victory is for the winning boy to not only sit on head of the defeated boy, but to fart on his head as well. In families, it's usually the older brother who ends up sitting and farting on the head of his younger brother as a deterrent to future challenges. Mr. President, you didn't grow up with brothers, but there's a lesson to be learned from the wrestling of boys.
But first, Mr. President, I have a message for you from my sister regarding this standoff with congressional Republicans: Don't blink.
In this standoff/government shutdown, there's far more at stake than just a budget or the debt ceiling. As you've so aptly put it, what is at stake is the ability to govern without being forced into false crises created by a small contingent of Republicans who are out of step with the majority of the nation. So my sister's advice to you, Mr. President, is to continue to stand toe-to-toe with them and don't even think about blinking. Don't flinch. Stand your ground. Which leads to a message from me:
Don't just sit on their heads; fart on their heads.
I, like so many other Americans, am so weary of Tea Party efforts to derail the Affordable Care Act, also known as "Obamacare." It's the law. They need to get over it and move on. The rest of the country has. Given that many of these representatives represent broke-ass states with people who desperately need health care (and could stand to back away from the fast food joints and processed foods in general) but fear anything with the word "Obama" in it, they ought to just move on. But shutting down the government and threatening the first U.S. government default ever? Now that deserves not just sitting on their heads, but farting on them, too.
The Republicans know they have backed themselves into a corner and are looking for a way out. They know that, the longer this goes on, the more dim their hopes become of recapturing the White House in 2016. They know all of this, but like a little brother wrestling his older, bigger brother, they don't know how to get out of this political headlock that will eventually lead to the political equivalent of you not just sitting on their heads, but farting on them as well.
When they capitulate, and they will, Mr. President, take that victory lap. Do whatever is the political equivalent of sitting and farting on their heads so they will think twice about pulling this stunt again.
Don't blink, Mr. President. But do fart on their heads, so to speak.
Sincerely,
Black Woman Blogging
Debt Ceiling Mistakes All Around: I Call B.S.
So . . . Standard & Poors, which didn't downgrade all those mortgage-backed securities in the run-up to the housing bubble meltdown, found the stones to downgrade, of all things, U.S. treasuries?
I call B.S.
But first, there are a lot of mistakes to go around, starting with my own. My mistake was allowing the stop-loss orders on my 401(k) stock holdings to expire while all this debt ceiling madness was going on. I was preoccupied with other things going on in my life and just didn't pay attention. The unrealized gains on my 401(k) holdings took a major haircut from 29% to 8%. Nothing to do but ride it out. Had I had my stop-loss orders in place, I could have gone back and re-bought all my perfectly good holdings for a lot less, in essence shorting my own stock portfolio. I've got another fourteen years to ride it out, but lesson learned: Always keep your stop-loss orders in place so when stupid people panic and sell, you're not stuck talking about unrealized gains instead of realized gains.
Second, I blame President Obama for even negotiating the debt ceiling increase with the Tea Party Terrorists in the first place. Yes, I said it: Tea Party Terrorists. Mind you, I have friends in the Tea Party and I respect that they've done more than just talk -- they get out and support their candidates and hew closely to their principles. But to hold the debt ceiling hostage and create unnecessary worry in the markets? I call B.S. But the President should have never even deigned to negotiate the debt ceiling increase. He should have simply said, "No president before me has ever negotiated the increase of the debt ceiling that is an inevitable result of Congress passing a budget that requires greater revenues than our taxes provide. I'm not going to be the first." The off-the-record remarks should have been, "Oh HELL no, the first (real) Black president ain't going out like that. If Congress doesn't raise the debt ceiling, I will and let them fight it out with the Supreme Court."
Third, I blame the Tea Party and the Republican Party. Republicans, I know and like a lot of you, but your Tea Party is out of pocket and you need to get them in check. There is no way any elected official with any sense of statesman- or stateswomanship would have let the debt ceiling negotiations go for so long and so cattywhampus to the detriment of the entire nation. This whole thing was nothing more than an effort to embarrass and weaken the President, otherwise the spending would have been cut from the budget. Do you folks hate President Obama that much that you'd stick it to the rest of the nation to prove some point? It's a good thing I'm paying off my credit cards and my mortgage is a 30-year fixed, otherwise you folks would have to get a restraining order against me, especially the Tan Man (Boehner) in all his glorious ineptitude.
But I also blame Standard & Poors. Even as bass-awkwards as our political system has become, do you S & P asswipes really think France has a better chance of paying off its debt than we do? Really? Where were you guys when people with no jobs, a 500 FICO score and a barely discernible pulse were able to get no doc, interest-amortizing balloon mortgages for houses they could not afford? So, those folks were a good credit risk but the good ol' U.S. of A., which has never defaulted on debt, gets a markdown because of temporary insanity in Congress? I call major B.S.
Finally, I blame us as a nation. This recession was a man-made injury created by ignorance and greed. A lot of people are going to come out of it with lower incomes and lower net worth because many of the jobs we lost here in America aren't coming back. America, we used our homes as ATM machines and monuments to our own financial ignorance, and we allowed corporate America to pimp us, run with the money, and leave us -- as individuals and as tax-paying citizens -- holding the bag. All that quantitative easing and TARP money is just more debt on our national credit card.
And China is so not going to give us a limit increase on that credit card.
Time for Americans to wake up and play smarter, not harder, with our finances and our politics.
I call B.S.
But first, there are a lot of mistakes to go around, starting with my own. My mistake was allowing the stop-loss orders on my 401(k) stock holdings to expire while all this debt ceiling madness was going on. I was preoccupied with other things going on in my life and just didn't pay attention. The unrealized gains on my 401(k) holdings took a major haircut from 29% to 8%. Nothing to do but ride it out. Had I had my stop-loss orders in place, I could have gone back and re-bought all my perfectly good holdings for a lot less, in essence shorting my own stock portfolio. I've got another fourteen years to ride it out, but lesson learned: Always keep your stop-loss orders in place so when stupid people panic and sell, you're not stuck talking about unrealized gains instead of realized gains.
Second, I blame President Obama for even negotiating the debt ceiling increase with the Tea Party Terrorists in the first place. Yes, I said it: Tea Party Terrorists. Mind you, I have friends in the Tea Party and I respect that they've done more than just talk -- they get out and support their candidates and hew closely to their principles. But to hold the debt ceiling hostage and create unnecessary worry in the markets? I call B.S. But the President should have never even deigned to negotiate the debt ceiling increase. He should have simply said, "No president before me has ever negotiated the increase of the debt ceiling that is an inevitable result of Congress passing a budget that requires greater revenues than our taxes provide. I'm not going to be the first." The off-the-record remarks should have been, "Oh HELL no, the first (real) Black president ain't going out like that. If Congress doesn't raise the debt ceiling, I will and let them fight it out with the Supreme Court."
Third, I blame the Tea Party and the Republican Party. Republicans, I know and like a lot of you, but your Tea Party is out of pocket and you need to get them in check. There is no way any elected official with any sense of statesman- or stateswomanship would have let the debt ceiling negotiations go for so long and so cattywhampus to the detriment of the entire nation. This whole thing was nothing more than an effort to embarrass and weaken the President, otherwise the spending would have been cut from the budget. Do you folks hate President Obama that much that you'd stick it to the rest of the nation to prove some point? It's a good thing I'm paying off my credit cards and my mortgage is a 30-year fixed, otherwise you folks would have to get a restraining order against me, especially the Tan Man (Boehner) in all his glorious ineptitude.
But I also blame Standard & Poors. Even as bass-awkwards as our political system has become, do you S & P asswipes really think France has a better chance of paying off its debt than we do? Really? Where were you guys when people with no jobs, a 500 FICO score and a barely discernible pulse were able to get no doc, interest-amortizing balloon mortgages for houses they could not afford? So, those folks were a good credit risk but the good ol' U.S. of A., which has never defaulted on debt, gets a markdown because of temporary insanity in Congress? I call major B.S.
Finally, I blame us as a nation. This recession was a man-made injury created by ignorance and greed. A lot of people are going to come out of it with lower incomes and lower net worth because many of the jobs we lost here in America aren't coming back. America, we used our homes as ATM machines and monuments to our own financial ignorance, and we allowed corporate America to pimp us, run with the money, and leave us -- as individuals and as tax-paying citizens -- holding the bag. All that quantitative easing and TARP money is just more debt on our national credit card.
And China is so not going to give us a limit increase on that credit card.
Time for Americans to wake up and play smarter, not harder, with our finances and our politics.
Stop The Debt Ceiling Pissing Match
For the first time in our nation's history, our federal government faces the serious prospect of defaulting on debt.
That our elected officials could think that raising the debt ceiling, something so vital to the functioning of not only our economy but the entire world's economy, could be the subject of political negotiation and gamesmanship is absolutely ludicrous. You want to talk about debt reduction? Great. But not when you have debt to pay such that, if you don't pay it, the entire world economy will spasm. The potential defaults of Greece, Italy, Portugal and Ireland have nothing on the cataclysmic result of the first United States default.
I call B.S. on any Congressperson who would even think that raising the debt ceiling is subject to negotiation. That said, I specifically call B.S. on the Tea Party activists who even put this sorry-ass political play in motion. This is a desperate attempt to score political points at the expense of their political nemesis, who just happens to be the nation's first African American president, with absolutely no consideration of the effects on the entire nation, if not the world.
And somewhere in Beijing, the leaders of the Chinese Communist Party are looking at each other and saying, "Are those crazy-ass Americans for real?"
I wonder how you say, "Bitch betta have my money" in Mandarin.
Enough is enough. Stop the debt ceiling pissing match.
That our elected officials could think that raising the debt ceiling, something so vital to the functioning of not only our economy but the entire world's economy, could be the subject of political negotiation and gamesmanship is absolutely ludicrous. You want to talk about debt reduction? Great. But not when you have debt to pay such that, if you don't pay it, the entire world economy will spasm. The potential defaults of Greece, Italy, Portugal and Ireland have nothing on the cataclysmic result of the first United States default.
I call B.S. on any Congressperson who would even think that raising the debt ceiling is subject to negotiation. That said, I specifically call B.S. on the Tea Party activists who even put this sorry-ass political play in motion. This is a desperate attempt to score political points at the expense of their political nemesis, who just happens to be the nation's first African American president, with absolutely no consideration of the effects on the entire nation, if not the world.
And somewhere in Beijing, the leaders of the Chinese Communist Party are looking at each other and saying, "Are those crazy-ass Americans for real?"
I wonder how you say, "Bitch betta have my money" in Mandarin.
Enough is enough. Stop the debt ceiling pissing match.
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