So . . . .the Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee are at such a disadvantage in Solicitor Kagan’s confirmation hearings that they have to go after a dead justice? And not just any justice, but Justice Thurgood Marshall?
Branding Justice Marshall as an “activist” whose judicial philosophy was “out of the mainstream” leads me to wonder: Since when did equality under the law become synonymous with being “activist” and “out of the mainstream?” Aren’t the words “Equal Justice Under Law” etched in the façade of the U.S. Supreme Court building? Am I missing something here?
If you want to brand Thurgood Marshall an “activist,” he should be considered to have been a “constitutional activist” – someone willing to ensure the Constitution lived up to the principles the Founding Fathers said it embodied (even if many of them were slave owners who did not live up to those principles themselves) and make it apply to everyone, regardless of race. Justice Marshall was willing to put his life on the line, litigating all across the Jim Crow south in places where he and other members of the NAACP legal team faced death threats, to make the Constitution and this country live up to its principles. To hold us all accountable to our nation's principles.
If the end of legally sanctioned racial segregation was “out of the mainstream,” than the mainstream was fouled with bigotry and hatred and needed to be disregarded.
Let’s call this exactly what it is: A cheap shot by men who not only would have been unworthy to carry Justice Marshall’s briefcase, but unworthy to wipe his behind. I would hope that all civil rights organizations would call these Republican senators to task and not let this attack on the record of Justice Marshall go without a united and sharp response. Regardless, I won't let it go unnoticed. Not on my watch.
Screwin' The Pooch . . . On The Cover Of The Rolling Stone
Wanna see my picture on the cover
Gonna buy five copies for my mother!
Wanna see my smilin' face
On the cover of the Rolling Stone . . .
- with apologies to Dr. Hook
Okay, I'll be the first to admit it: I enjoyed watching General Stanley McChrystal get fired. In the parlance of our nation's military, he "screwed the pooch." Big time. On the cover of the Rolling Stone, no less.
But I didn't enjoy watching him get b-slapped for the heck of it. No, it was a kind of vicarious joy for every time I was underestimated because of my race and unable to respond. Most African Americans of my generation who have achieved some modicum of responsibility or success in the workplace have at one time had their abilities questioned or underestimated for reasons unrelated to performance. Many times, people of other races have pegged us as unqualified affirmative action beneficiaries no matter how stellar our credentials or past accomplishments. The only weapon at our disposal, more often than not, has been to work harder and prove them wrong -- the old "twice as good to be half as good" that our Civil Rights Movement parents taught us. But, man, does that get old. I've often argued that we will have achieved equality when black mediocrity is not tied to blackness but to humanity, period. But we're not there yet.
So, you can imagine the joy I had when I read McChrystal's remarks about the President and wondered if he would have been so bold were the President not black. Regardless, he screwed the pooch, or, as they say on East 14th in Oakland, he got "out of pocket." And this time, regardless of the source of his animus -- off his meds, angry, race, whatever -- even the conservative pundits had to fall in line and agree that this kind of behavior was unacceptable from a general serving the Commander-in-Chief. It was with great fun that I watched the ever Obama-critical George Will have to reach the same unavoidable conclusion: McChrystal had to go. Yes, even George Will had no choice but to agree with President Obama this time.
I enjoyed hearing that the President made General McChrystal endure the military brass' version of a perp walk: Going to various high-ranking officials and apologizing in person before getting his head handed to him in the Oval Office. Had McChrystal had any honor, he would have resigned long before stepping foot on American soil. He definitely is not samurai material.
Although I know the President likes to keep issues of race out of politics, I must say that, for every post-Civil Rights era African American who has endured having their abilities questioned or underestimated for reasons unrelated to performance or ability, it was a small, silent victory for us that the President won't admit. I'm okay with that. It was just nice to see us on the powerful end of the equation, if just this once.
And in my fantasy as to how this all played out, the President leaned over his desk, accepted General McChrystal's resignation, and whispered in his ear: "How ya like me now?"
Gonna buy five copies for my mother!
Wanna see my smilin' face
On the cover of the Rolling Stone . . .
- with apologies to Dr. Hook
Okay, I'll be the first to admit it: I enjoyed watching General Stanley McChrystal get fired. In the parlance of our nation's military, he "screwed the pooch." Big time. On the cover of the Rolling Stone, no less.
But I didn't enjoy watching him get b-slapped for the heck of it. No, it was a kind of vicarious joy for every time I was underestimated because of my race and unable to respond. Most African Americans of my generation who have achieved some modicum of responsibility or success in the workplace have at one time had their abilities questioned or underestimated for reasons unrelated to performance. Many times, people of other races have pegged us as unqualified affirmative action beneficiaries no matter how stellar our credentials or past accomplishments. The only weapon at our disposal, more often than not, has been to work harder and prove them wrong -- the old "twice as good to be half as good" that our Civil Rights Movement parents taught us. But, man, does that get old. I've often argued that we will have achieved equality when black mediocrity is not tied to blackness but to humanity, period. But we're not there yet.
So, you can imagine the joy I had when I read McChrystal's remarks about the President and wondered if he would have been so bold were the President not black. Regardless, he screwed the pooch, or, as they say on East 14th in Oakland, he got "out of pocket." And this time, regardless of the source of his animus -- off his meds, angry, race, whatever -- even the conservative pundits had to fall in line and agree that this kind of behavior was unacceptable from a general serving the Commander-in-Chief. It was with great fun that I watched the ever Obama-critical George Will have to reach the same unavoidable conclusion: McChrystal had to go. Yes, even George Will had no choice but to agree with President Obama this time.
I enjoyed hearing that the President made General McChrystal endure the military brass' version of a perp walk: Going to various high-ranking officials and apologizing in person before getting his head handed to him in the Oval Office. Had McChrystal had any honor, he would have resigned long before stepping foot on American soil. He definitely is not samurai material.
Although I know the President likes to keep issues of race out of politics, I must say that, for every post-Civil Rights era African American who has endured having their abilities questioned or underestimated for reasons unrelated to performance or ability, it was a small, silent victory for us that the President won't admit. I'm okay with that. It was just nice to see us on the powerful end of the equation, if just this once.
And in my fantasy as to how this all played out, the President leaned over his desk, accepted General McChrystal's resignation, and whispered in his ear: "How ya like me now?"
Summer Is My Favorite Time Of Year
Summer is my favorite time of year, perhaps because I associate it with long-ago summers of my childhood when my days were filled with getting up, doing my chores, and having the rest of the day to do whatever I wanted. I would not have made it in a year-round school. I would have bristled against what I would have perceived as a loss of my personal freedom, a civil rights violation perhaps, even as a child.
That said, like many people, I have a tendency to let summer get by me without really enjoying it. I don’t make plans and, with the California state government furloughs extended until the end of the year and no state budget in sight, I’m reluctant to spend money since the Governor is threatening not to pay me and other exempt employees next month if there’s no budget in place by the new fiscal year.
But why should I let a flat-assed guy with ugly teeth and a bad self-tan ruin my summer?
So here are my summer plans for a good summer on the cheap:
*Read good books, mostly from the library – mine. I’ve got a ton of really good books I’ve bought over the years that I’m STILL unpacking in our house. Might as well enjoy them, even if all the buzz surrounding them has long since died down. Memory Keeper’s Daughter, here I come!
*Eat well by cooking well. I’ve noticed that when I make home-cooked meals, 1) I eat more vegetables; 2) I eat healthier food in smaller portions; and 3) I spend a whole lot less on feeding myself. The first week of June, BMNB dragged the grill from the garage and cleaned it up, and we grilled just about everything we had – burgers, hot dogs, marinated garlic herbed boneless chicken breasts we got from Target with a coupon (Who knew?), red bell peppers, summer squash, corn, asparagus, zucchini. We tossed balsamic vinaigrette on the veggies one night, Italian dressing the next. There’s just something about that first grilled burger of the summer! And all of this was pretty cheap, too.
*Go to free and/or cheap stuff. Farmers markets, festivals, parks, family movie night at the local library. All good fun on the cheap.
*Walk. My favorite time of the day during the summer is twilight. It’s a good time to go walking with your honey, your kids, and your dog, although you might need mosquito repellent.
*Lots of iced sweet tea with fresh lemon and homemade sparking limeade. I believe I’ve written before about Martha Stewart’s sparkling limeade recipe. Summer to me is definitely iced sweet tea with fresh lemon juice (who are those Neanderthals who put bottled lemon juice in their iced tea?) and sparkling limeade. Heck, if I get tired of the limeade, I’ll leave out the club soda, add two cups of tequila, and start wasting away in my own personal Margaritaville . . . don’t tell BMNB.
*Sandals, whether you like my feet or not. Sure, I’ll do my part – lotion, toenail polish, scrub off the rough stuff with Pretty Feet and Hands. But after that, well, you’ll just have to get over it.
*Spend more time at home with people I like. It’s taken me quite a while to realize that the people who really care about BMNB and I don’t really care that we don’t have window treatments or decent furniture. They come for the company and the food. My home may not be a well-appointed mansion, but I can marinate and grill a good steak with the best of them. Which would you prefer in a friend? Yeah, that’s what I thought – a steak master.
*Relax. Too often I run myself ragged and exhaust myself to the point of illness. Summer is the perfect time to slow down, take stock, and just be thankful for what you have, for however long you have it.
*Garden. Luckily, I started a lot of plants from seed early in May, so I’m now reaping the benefits – tomato plants, marigolds, etc. Plus, I still have the collard and mustard greens I planted a while back, and my carrots, lettuce and squash are starting to peak out of the ground. Nothing like eating food fresh from your own garden and planting flowers that you’ve grown from seed.
*Give myself a break. I’m not going to jump up and say “yes” to every invitation I get, nor am I going to be goaded into throwing functions I don’t really want to host. I strongly believe that you should never feed anyone you don’t like.
*Catch up on my magazines, including O Magazine. By the time I read about the offers in O Magazine, they’ve expired. When I read about events in Sunset Magazine, they’re past. I need to start working backward and calendaring events from Sunset so that I CAN make plans.
*Get in the office early and leave early. Who wants to be in at 5:00 pm during the summer? I spent the last week working long hours on days off. Enough already!
*Daytrip to nearby places. For my birthday, BMNB took me to Coloma. Why? Because I hadn’t been since the first grade, and he’d never been. Being the geeky history buffs we are, we had a good day. Yes, we do intend to take our kids to all the California missions, the Grand Canyon, and to all the Civil War battlefields to see re-enactments. That’s how we roll – black and geeky.
*Make my home a happy one – start putting up all the art we have stored in the garage; organize; put up shelving; and start using the stuff we already have and getting rid of the stuff we don’t need.
*Dig out my old CD's that remind me of good times. I’m still rocking Tony!Toni!Tone’s House of Music. Maybe I’ll put together a playlist for grillin’ and chillin’.
*Write. My sister, the Writing Diva, has challenged me to finish the two books she says are begging to be finished by me. Game on!
I wish you all a very happy summer. Remember, it goes by fast, so enjoy!
That said, like many people, I have a tendency to let summer get by me without really enjoying it. I don’t make plans and, with the California state government furloughs extended until the end of the year and no state budget in sight, I’m reluctant to spend money since the Governor is threatening not to pay me and other exempt employees next month if there’s no budget in place by the new fiscal year.
But why should I let a flat-assed guy with ugly teeth and a bad self-tan ruin my summer?
So here are my summer plans for a good summer on the cheap:
*Read good books, mostly from the library – mine. I’ve got a ton of really good books I’ve bought over the years that I’m STILL unpacking in our house. Might as well enjoy them, even if all the buzz surrounding them has long since died down. Memory Keeper’s Daughter, here I come!
*Eat well by cooking well. I’ve noticed that when I make home-cooked meals, 1) I eat more vegetables; 2) I eat healthier food in smaller portions; and 3) I spend a whole lot less on feeding myself. The first week of June, BMNB dragged the grill from the garage and cleaned it up, and we grilled just about everything we had – burgers, hot dogs, marinated garlic herbed boneless chicken breasts we got from Target with a coupon (Who knew?), red bell peppers, summer squash, corn, asparagus, zucchini. We tossed balsamic vinaigrette on the veggies one night, Italian dressing the next. There’s just something about that first grilled burger of the summer! And all of this was pretty cheap, too.
*Go to free and/or cheap stuff. Farmers markets, festivals, parks, family movie night at the local library. All good fun on the cheap.
*Walk. My favorite time of the day during the summer is twilight. It’s a good time to go walking with your honey, your kids, and your dog, although you might need mosquito repellent.
*Lots of iced sweet tea with fresh lemon and homemade sparking limeade. I believe I’ve written before about Martha Stewart’s sparkling limeade recipe. Summer to me is definitely iced sweet tea with fresh lemon juice (who are those Neanderthals who put bottled lemon juice in their iced tea?) and sparkling limeade. Heck, if I get tired of the limeade, I’ll leave out the club soda, add two cups of tequila, and start wasting away in my own personal Margaritaville . . . don’t tell BMNB.
*Sandals, whether you like my feet or not. Sure, I’ll do my part – lotion, toenail polish, scrub off the rough stuff with Pretty Feet and Hands. But after that, well, you’ll just have to get over it.
*Spend more time at home with people I like. It’s taken me quite a while to realize that the people who really care about BMNB and I don’t really care that we don’t have window treatments or decent furniture. They come for the company and the food. My home may not be a well-appointed mansion, but I can marinate and grill a good steak with the best of them. Which would you prefer in a friend? Yeah, that’s what I thought – a steak master.
*Relax. Too often I run myself ragged and exhaust myself to the point of illness. Summer is the perfect time to slow down, take stock, and just be thankful for what you have, for however long you have it.
*Garden. Luckily, I started a lot of plants from seed early in May, so I’m now reaping the benefits – tomato plants, marigolds, etc. Plus, I still have the collard and mustard greens I planted a while back, and my carrots, lettuce and squash are starting to peak out of the ground. Nothing like eating food fresh from your own garden and planting flowers that you’ve grown from seed.
*Give myself a break. I’m not going to jump up and say “yes” to every invitation I get, nor am I going to be goaded into throwing functions I don’t really want to host. I strongly believe that you should never feed anyone you don’t like.
*Catch up on my magazines, including O Magazine. By the time I read about the offers in O Magazine, they’ve expired. When I read about events in Sunset Magazine, they’re past. I need to start working backward and calendaring events from Sunset so that I CAN make plans.
*Get in the office early and leave early. Who wants to be in at 5:00 pm during the summer? I spent the last week working long hours on days off. Enough already!
*Daytrip to nearby places. For my birthday, BMNB took me to Coloma. Why? Because I hadn’t been since the first grade, and he’d never been. Being the geeky history buffs we are, we had a good day. Yes, we do intend to take our kids to all the California missions, the Grand Canyon, and to all the Civil War battlefields to see re-enactments. That’s how we roll – black and geeky.
*Make my home a happy one – start putting up all the art we have stored in the garage; organize; put up shelving; and start using the stuff we already have and getting rid of the stuff we don’t need.
*Dig out my old CD's that remind me of good times. I’m still rocking Tony!Toni!Tone’s House of Music. Maybe I’ll put together a playlist for grillin’ and chillin’.
*Write. My sister, the Writing Diva, has challenged me to finish the two books she says are begging to be finished by me. Game on!
I wish you all a very happy summer. Remember, it goes by fast, so enjoy!
The Sound of Oakland, the Antidote to Bieber
People don't often think that Oakland has a distinct musical sound like Detroit (Motown), Philadelphia (The Sound of Philadelphia Records, Gamble & Huff), Mississippi (Malaco Records), and Memphis (Stax Records, Otis Redding, Al Green). But it does. Problem is, when people ask me what that sound is, I often have trouble describing it off the top of my head with one group. It really is a melange of things -- a tight horn section (Tower of Power), a jazzy smooth vibe (Ledisi and Goapele), the relaxed delivery of one rapper (Too Short), the comic delivery of a small group of others (Digital Underground), the throaty delivery of a tough chick who's been through some stuff (Keyshia Cole). It is all these things
In other words, it's Tony!Toni!Tone!.
I had the pleasure of hearing the Tonys, sans Raphael Saadiq, last week in Sacramento. I was thinking I wouldn't like them as much since Saadiq left the group, but lo and behold, Amar Khalil, their new front man who sings just like Saadiq, left me feeling like I didn't miss a thing (Sorry, Raphael, but the brother can sang!). They performed all their hits, had me dancing in the aisle, and, despite the piss-poor sound system, put on one of the best concerts I'd been to in years. What you hear in this group is the fact that they are top-flight students of soul, making the title of their third CD, Sons of Soul, appropriate. Thinkin' of You incorporates the Memphis sound of Al Green. Wild Child incorporates the Tower of Power tight horns with a soulful interpretation. The Blues is a nod to funk. Feels Good is just straight-up New Jack Swing. Anniversary, It Never Rains (In Southern California), and Whatever You Want incorporate a jazzy smooth Quiet Storm vibe reminiscent of KBLX waaay back in the day. You name any variation on soul music and these men have incorporated and celebrated it in their music. Their music is a celebration of African-American music. It is a celebration of Oakland.
It is the antidote to Justin Bieber.
What my husband BMNB appreciated most about the concert was their musicianship, which he believes is in woefully short supply these days. At one point, guitarist and singer Dwayne Wiggins stopped the show before starting Whatever You Want because his guitar "didn't sound right." He played all of his available guitars to find just the right one to play the familiar opening guitar riff in this beloved song. He asked the audience if we noticed the difference. We did, and we appreciated it.
Mind you, BMBN and I started the day watching Justin Bieber on The Today Show. We looked at all the screaming girls and the paparazzi, listened to his performance, and looked at each other as if to say, "WTF?"
When we drove away from the Tony!Toni!Tone! concert later that night, we remarked on the marked difference between Bieber and the Tonys. BMBN just shook his head and, in reference to Bieber, remarked, "It's just criminal . . . . . letting that boy go on thinking he's got talent." Mind you, Bieber may play a lot of instruments, but I don't think he's got the talent or the staying power of the Tonys.
Let's see if 15-20 years from now those teenage girls are singing and dancing along to Justin Bieber as I was to Tony!Toni!Tone! Somehow, I don't think so.
In other words, it's Tony!Toni!Tone!.
I had the pleasure of hearing the Tonys, sans Raphael Saadiq, last week in Sacramento. I was thinking I wouldn't like them as much since Saadiq left the group, but lo and behold, Amar Khalil, their new front man who sings just like Saadiq, left me feeling like I didn't miss a thing (Sorry, Raphael, but the brother can sang!). They performed all their hits, had me dancing in the aisle, and, despite the piss-poor sound system, put on one of the best concerts I'd been to in years. What you hear in this group is the fact that they are top-flight students of soul, making the title of their third CD, Sons of Soul, appropriate. Thinkin' of You incorporates the Memphis sound of Al Green. Wild Child incorporates the Tower of Power tight horns with a soulful interpretation. The Blues is a nod to funk. Feels Good is just straight-up New Jack Swing. Anniversary, It Never Rains (In Southern California), and Whatever You Want incorporate a jazzy smooth Quiet Storm vibe reminiscent of KBLX waaay back in the day. You name any variation on soul music and these men have incorporated and celebrated it in their music. Their music is a celebration of African-American music. It is a celebration of Oakland.
It is the antidote to Justin Bieber.
What my husband BMNB appreciated most about the concert was their musicianship, which he believes is in woefully short supply these days. At one point, guitarist and singer Dwayne Wiggins stopped the show before starting Whatever You Want because his guitar "didn't sound right." He played all of his available guitars to find just the right one to play the familiar opening guitar riff in this beloved song. He asked the audience if we noticed the difference. We did, and we appreciated it.
Mind you, BMBN and I started the day watching Justin Bieber on The Today Show. We looked at all the screaming girls and the paparazzi, listened to his performance, and looked at each other as if to say, "WTF?"
When we drove away from the Tony!Toni!Tone! concert later that night, we remarked on the marked difference between Bieber and the Tonys. BMBN just shook his head and, in reference to Bieber, remarked, "It's just criminal . . . . . letting that boy go on thinking he's got talent." Mind you, Bieber may play a lot of instruments, but I don't think he's got the talent or the staying power of the Tonys.
Let's see if 15-20 years from now those teenage girls are singing and dancing along to Justin Bieber as I was to Tony!Toni!Tone! Somehow, I don't think so.
Hitting the Reset Button
Memorial Day is a wonderful time to take stock -- of the lives lost in defense of our nation, of what we have, of what we've accomplished thus far this year. It's also a good time to hit the reset button of our lives.
I know that I, like many women, slide into schlumpadinka-ville during the winter months. I dress for warmth, not for style. I don't pay attention to my hair. I eat comfort food, not healthy food. Nail techs would run from me in horror if they saw my feet. Exercise regimen? As if.
But all that self-denial in pursuit of warmth and comfort takes its toll. Most of the cute summer clothes are not in my size. I'm out of breath just taking the stairs. My hair looks like a cross between Sasquatch and a drunken Diana Ross. And nail techs would still run from my feet.
So it's time to hit the reset button.
Sure, I've got a lot going on -- I'm getting involved in local politics (as an activist), BMNB and I are still in adoption mode, and our house looks like nuclear winter on the inside. But I read O Magazine's column by Donna Brazile this month, and in it she said something that got my attention:
You can only go as far as your body will take you.
I hate to go all Oprah on y'all, but that was definitely an "A-ha" moment for me.
I've always counted on my intellect, but if I don't take care of my body, my intellect doesn't matter. It's hard to express deep thoughts if a stroke has altered your speech. It's hard to run around after children if a heart attack has slowed you down. I don't even want to go there.
So I'm hitting the reset button. I'm rededicating myself to eating better, exercising, and taking care of myself. I pulled out the Weight Watchers materials, and although I'm not ready to rejoin the group, I am ready to start being mindful of what I put in my mouth. I want to run a marathon one day, God willing, if my body will take me that far. I want to run after the kids BMNB and I have yet to have.
Now, if I can find a nail tech who won't run from my feet . . .
I know that I, like many women, slide into schlumpadinka-ville during the winter months. I dress for warmth, not for style. I don't pay attention to my hair. I eat comfort food, not healthy food. Nail techs would run from me in horror if they saw my feet. Exercise regimen? As if.
But all that self-denial in pursuit of warmth and comfort takes its toll. Most of the cute summer clothes are not in my size. I'm out of breath just taking the stairs. My hair looks like a cross between Sasquatch and a drunken Diana Ross. And nail techs would still run from my feet.
So it's time to hit the reset button.
Sure, I've got a lot going on -- I'm getting involved in local politics (as an activist), BMNB and I are still in adoption mode, and our house looks like nuclear winter on the inside. But I read O Magazine's column by Donna Brazile this month, and in it she said something that got my attention:
You can only go as far as your body will take you.
I hate to go all Oprah on y'all, but that was definitely an "A-ha" moment for me.
I've always counted on my intellect, but if I don't take care of my body, my intellect doesn't matter. It's hard to express deep thoughts if a stroke has altered your speech. It's hard to run around after children if a heart attack has slowed you down. I don't even want to go there.
So I'm hitting the reset button. I'm rededicating myself to eating better, exercising, and taking care of myself. I pulled out the Weight Watchers materials, and although I'm not ready to rejoin the group, I am ready to start being mindful of what I put in my mouth. I want to run a marathon one day, God willing, if my body will take me that far. I want to run after the kids BMNB and I have yet to have.
Now, if I can find a nail tech who won't run from my feet . . .
Fill, Baby, Fill!
BP, you done gone and made BMNB mad. And that ain’t easy.
You see, BMNB was born in Mobile, which, if you haven’t noticed, sits on the Gulf of Mexico. And while he’s spent most of his childhood and adulthood in California, Mobile and the Gulf Coast are and always will be home to him. Both Dauphin Island and Daphne were on our short list for places to retire.
But, BP, you done gone and f*&^%# it up. And now BMNB is mad.
Mad because he doesn’t eat seafood from anywhere else BUT the Gulf. I’m serious. We went to dinner in Florida as part of a job interview for me, and he barely spoke to anyone at the dinner table because he was face-down in Gulf seafood. His mother used to have Gulf fish Fedexed to California on dry ice. We attended an event in Denver where a woman from Mississippi had flown in fresh catfish from the Gulf area, and BMNB parked himself by her vat of hot peanut oil, waiting for each piece of gulf catfish to come out, perfectly seasoned and cooked. Why? Because seafood from anywhere else, to his palate, “tastes funny.”
That’s how much BMNB loves the Gulf and its seafood.
So for him, to think that his way of life – even from thousands of miles away – is going to be changed forever because of something a FOREIGN oil company did and is still doing?
He’s hot. If he had his way, they’d be making barrier islands from the corpses of BP executives.
So, long story short, BP, you need to “fill, baby, fill.” And fast. And to those who think we should trust profit-driven corporations when they give us their estimates as to the damage they’ve done in catastrophes like this, I hope you’ve learned that the people who most have the interests of the environment at heart are those who come from or live in that environment and not those who just come to exploit it. All of BP’s previous efforts at containment were probably motivated in part by a desire to preserve the well instead of kill it, if you ask me. This is just another lawsuit to BP; it isn’t personal to them, like it is to the Gulf Coast guy I’m married to.
If I were you, BP, I’d get that well plugged quick, fast, and in a hurry. And if you see a deranged black man coming at you with a weapon in one hand, a fistful of oil-soaked shrimp in the other, and an angry look on his face, that’s my husband and you better duck.
And he ain’t too happy with the federal government’s response, either.
You see, BMNB was born in Mobile, which, if you haven’t noticed, sits on the Gulf of Mexico. And while he’s spent most of his childhood and adulthood in California, Mobile and the Gulf Coast are and always will be home to him. Both Dauphin Island and Daphne were on our short list for places to retire.
But, BP, you done gone and f*&^%# it up. And now BMNB is mad.
Mad because he doesn’t eat seafood from anywhere else BUT the Gulf. I’m serious. We went to dinner in Florida as part of a job interview for me, and he barely spoke to anyone at the dinner table because he was face-down in Gulf seafood. His mother used to have Gulf fish Fedexed to California on dry ice. We attended an event in Denver where a woman from Mississippi had flown in fresh catfish from the Gulf area, and BMNB parked himself by her vat of hot peanut oil, waiting for each piece of gulf catfish to come out, perfectly seasoned and cooked. Why? Because seafood from anywhere else, to his palate, “tastes funny.”
That’s how much BMNB loves the Gulf and its seafood.
So for him, to think that his way of life – even from thousands of miles away – is going to be changed forever because of something a FOREIGN oil company did and is still doing?
He’s hot. If he had his way, they’d be making barrier islands from the corpses of BP executives.
So, long story short, BP, you need to “fill, baby, fill.” And fast. And to those who think we should trust profit-driven corporations when they give us their estimates as to the damage they’ve done in catastrophes like this, I hope you’ve learned that the people who most have the interests of the environment at heart are those who come from or live in that environment and not those who just come to exploit it. All of BP’s previous efforts at containment were probably motivated in part by a desire to preserve the well instead of kill it, if you ask me. This is just another lawsuit to BP; it isn’t personal to them, like it is to the Gulf Coast guy I’m married to.
If I were you, BP, I’d get that well plugged quick, fast, and in a hurry. And if you see a deranged black man coming at you with a weapon in one hand, a fistful of oil-soaked shrimp in the other, and an angry look on his face, that’s my husband and you better duck.
And he ain’t too happy with the federal government’s response, either.
There Will Be Threats
Yesterday I celebrated by seventh wedding anniversary. I was trying to think of what I’d learned in the year since my last anniversary, and it's this: There will be threats.
I’d always thought that the threats to my marriage would come from within: Infidelity, boredom, incompatibility, an attraction to Halle Berry (not mine), you name it. I never took seriously that there would be threats from outside of our marriage. Why would anybody want to wreck someone else’s marriage or wreak havoc within it?
Because they can. Or they think they can.
BMNB and I endured such a threat to the peace in our marriage since our last anniversary. Someone we’d invited into our home used our conversations and confidences and passed them along to someone else so that someone else could in turn manipulate us.
I felt used and betrayed. But a bought lesson is a learned lesson.
The sad thing is that now BMNB and I aren’t as open about having people, family or otherwise, in our lives and in our home. BMNB isn’t the most warm and welcoming guy to begin with, so if he has an inkling that you’re trying to be in our space to do us harm, you don’t get very far. I, who have always been the more friendly and chatty of us two, have become more closed off and aloof, too. Since this was a family member who caused us problems, I don’t extend myself to family members I’m not absolutely sure are in our corner. As far as I’m concerned, you’re either on our team – meaning you want our marriage to succeed – or you’re not, plain and simple. And people who aren’t on the team aren’t allowed in my life or in my home.
We’re also a lot more circumspect about the people we do let in our lives. BMNB doesn’t like nosy people who just want to come over to see how we’re living. I, on the other hand, can’t stand people who don’t have shit who want to come over and criticize what little we have. Between the two of us, we don’t do a lot of entertaining at home.
BMNB believes, moreso than do I, that for people you don’t trust, you create an “information vacuum.” If he doesn’t trust you, he won’t discuss his personal life with you in any way, shape or form. His feeling is that if you’re going to talk about him, you’re going to have to make stuff up because he’s not going to give you information to use.
And I’ve learned that there are a lot of unhappy people out there who take joy in stealing yours -- people who don’t work on their issues and instead want to inflict themselves and their issues on you. Shit stirrers. Those people are not my fault, and they’re not your fault, either. Unless you raised them, you didn’t cause their issues. I know I didn’t. And it’s not my job or yours to fix them. I’d always been more logical than intuitive on this point, believing that if someone caused me harm, I must have done something – intentionally or unintentionally – to elicit their response. I now appreciate that there are people out there who will go out of their way to wreak havoc in your relationship and your life for no reason related to anything you’ve said or done to them.
As we celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary, I marveled at the fact that, despite the outside threats to our marriage, it has endured. I don’t even fear Halle Berry anymore.
I’d always thought that the threats to my marriage would come from within: Infidelity, boredom, incompatibility, an attraction to Halle Berry (not mine), you name it. I never took seriously that there would be threats from outside of our marriage. Why would anybody want to wreck someone else’s marriage or wreak havoc within it?
Because they can. Or they think they can.
BMNB and I endured such a threat to the peace in our marriage since our last anniversary. Someone we’d invited into our home used our conversations and confidences and passed them along to someone else so that someone else could in turn manipulate us.
I felt used and betrayed. But a bought lesson is a learned lesson.
The sad thing is that now BMNB and I aren’t as open about having people, family or otherwise, in our lives and in our home. BMNB isn’t the most warm and welcoming guy to begin with, so if he has an inkling that you’re trying to be in our space to do us harm, you don’t get very far. I, who have always been the more friendly and chatty of us two, have become more closed off and aloof, too. Since this was a family member who caused us problems, I don’t extend myself to family members I’m not absolutely sure are in our corner. As far as I’m concerned, you’re either on our team – meaning you want our marriage to succeed – or you’re not, plain and simple. And people who aren’t on the team aren’t allowed in my life or in my home.
We’re also a lot more circumspect about the people we do let in our lives. BMNB doesn’t like nosy people who just want to come over to see how we’re living. I, on the other hand, can’t stand people who don’t have shit who want to come over and criticize what little we have. Between the two of us, we don’t do a lot of entertaining at home.
BMNB believes, moreso than do I, that for people you don’t trust, you create an “information vacuum.” If he doesn’t trust you, he won’t discuss his personal life with you in any way, shape or form. His feeling is that if you’re going to talk about him, you’re going to have to make stuff up because he’s not going to give you information to use.
And I’ve learned that there are a lot of unhappy people out there who take joy in stealing yours -- people who don’t work on their issues and instead want to inflict themselves and their issues on you. Shit stirrers. Those people are not my fault, and they’re not your fault, either. Unless you raised them, you didn’t cause their issues. I know I didn’t. And it’s not my job or yours to fix them. I’d always been more logical than intuitive on this point, believing that if someone caused me harm, I must have done something – intentionally or unintentionally – to elicit their response. I now appreciate that there are people out there who will go out of their way to wreak havoc in your relationship and your life for no reason related to anything you’ve said or done to them.
As we celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary, I marveled at the fact that, despite the outside threats to our marriage, it has endured. I don’t even fear Halle Berry anymore.
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