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The Greatest Golfer, But Not The Greatest Player

So it looks like my favorite Cablasian got caught cheating on his wife, confirming what I’ve believed all along: Women are smarter than men. Tiger may be one of the world’s best golfers, but he’s a lousy player, if you get what I mean.

Think about it: If politicians, NBA stars, rock stars, and even the President of the United States got caught cheating on their wives, what made Tiger Woods think he wouldn’t get caught?

Here’s where I think women are smarter than men: Women think of cheating in terms of relationships; men think of it as transactional. Let me explain.

For example, married women would find a way to use relationships to shield their husbands from their extramarital relationships. A married woman would be smart enough to assume that the person she’s cheating with is as low-down as she is and has nothing to lose from outing her, so she would choose a cheating partner who had some “skin in the game,” so to speak – someone with something to lose by going public with their cheating, i.e., a married man, preferably a wealthy one living in a community property state who would stand to lose half of his fortune if caught.

Second, what a woman understands about relationships that men don’t is this: Sooner or later, if you keep cheating with the woman you’re cheating with, she’s going to think, “If I’m so much better than your wife that you’re sleeping with me, why aren’t I good enough to be the wife?” Kinda like Monica Lewinsky thinking she was going to take Hillary’s place. Whether we care to admit it or not, women can be extremely competitive when it comes to gaining and maintaining the affections of men. Therefore, what men don’t understand that women do is that you either have to maintain the hope of ascending to the wife’s place for your mistress if you want to keep the cheating going, or stop cheating with this particular mistress before such hope can take hold in her. But you can’t keep the cheating going without some false hope unless she’s got something to lose by outing the relationship, i.e., a wealthy husband. In Tiger’s case, the mistress’ wealthy husband would have to have been worth at least $ 1 billion to make it worthwhile to keep her mouth shut. And the false hope won’t sustain her forever. When your mistress starts singing lines from Jill Scott’s “My Love,” i.e., “My love is deeper, tighter, sweeter, higher, flyer . . . didn’t you know this?”, then you’re about done. The demands will increase and secrecy of your “transgressions” will be on the line.

Finally, a married woman would have removed all traces and evidence of cheating to maintain the marriage, if for no other reason, to avoid losing her children. Unlike Tiger, a married woman would have had more than one cell phone for her dirty deeds, and the one used for her cheating would have been a non-contract throwaway without phone records. She would have had separate credit cards with the bills going to different addresses to pay for her misdeeds. And she would have maintained her sexual relationship with her husband to remove any doubt. Because for women, if you can’t maintain the relationships, you risk losing the “transactions,” if you will. It’s all about balancing and insulating the relationships. We women excel at this.

That’s why Tiger may be the greatest golfer ever, but we women are the greatest players.

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