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Showing posts from September, 2009

The Hard Part Isn't That They Leave You

Today is the 11th anniversary of my mother's passing. And right now, a friend of mine is dealing with losing a parent to cancer as I did on this day eleven years ago. I've given all the usual advice about giving your loved one permission to let go and how parents will hang on even while suffering if they are afraid for the children or spouse they're leaving behind. What I didn't say was this:

The hard part isn't that they leave you; it's that they leave you behind.

Losing a parent is like having a hole ripped in your heart. And more likely than not, the person you would have looked to most to help you through such grief is the very parent who left you behind. The sage advice, the comfort, even the comfort food -- gone. You're on your own to pick up the pieces of your life and carry on.

It's funny -- as I've gotten older, I realize that there is no one on the planet that I hate so much that I would wish upon them the death of a parent. Even when …

Find Mitrice Richardson Search Party 9/26 8:00 am

I could get all into the press reports about the circumstances of Mitrice Richardson's disappearance after being released from custody from the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department. I could go all ballistic about Matt Lauer calling her parents by their first names and asking whether Mitrice was "street smart," which I doubt he would have asked of Elizabeth Smart's parents or any white parents for that matter. I could go all out talking about how the authorities' search for Mitrice pales in comparison to the search for Natalee Holloway by American authorities, and Natalee wasn't even lost in America.

I could, but it doesn't matter right now. Mitrice has been missing for a week. She's somebody's daughter, somebody's grandchild, and whatever the circumstances are surrounding her disappearance, she needs to be found. Now.

A search party for Mitrice Richardson has been organized for 8:00 am today. For more information, please see


No More Vanity Candidates

Former eBay CEO Meg Whitman has declared her candidacy for governor of California.

Whoopdee shit.

Former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina may declare her run for the U.S. Senate seat now occupied by Senator Barbara Boxer.

Whoopdee freakin' doo.

Maybe it's because I was born and raised here, maybe it's because I'm a fifth generation Californian, but I've decided that given the desperate straits California is in, I'm done with vanity candidates.

What is a vanity candidate, you say? A vanity candidate is a candidate who has no government experience whatsoever and assumes they can not only succeed in an elected position, but succeed in one of the highest elected positions possible, to wit, Governor Ronald Reagan and Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.

The problem I have with vanity candidates for governor is this: If you have no experience working in or with a deliberative body, how are you going to get the two-thirds votes needed every year to pass a budget in California…

Some Things That Are Just Plain Wrong . . . .

"Project Runway" in Los Angeles. Why would you film a show about fashion in L.A. when you could film it in the fashion capital of the world -- New York?

Elderly people on Medicare protesting against a public option for health care reform. Duh! You already have the public option and you just don't want to share. Haters.

Even more wrong: Elderly people on Medicare, on scooters with oxygen tanks, protesting against a public option for health care. My tax dollars more than likely paid for their public option to get a scooter and an oxygen tank.

NeNe Leakes on "The Real Housewives of Atlanta." She's entertaining to watch, but she stirs the pot. All drama leads back to her. And Kim just can't catch a break.

California's Legislature and Governor. Tore up from the floor up. One of the world's largest economies and its government had to issue IOU's. Hell, I don't even accept IOU's from family anymore.

Little people prostitutes. I…

Margaret and Helen and Doubting My Racial Identity

When I come across something really cool, I can't help but share it. I recently came across two really cool blogs -- Margaret and Helen and Stuff White People Like. The first has me LMAO, the second has me doubting how black Black Woman Blogging really is.

I was told about Margaret and Helen by my niece, the Single Parent Goddess. Margaret and Helen are in their eighties and have been friends for over sixty years. Margaret writes more of the blog than Helen, and their blog entries include, "Sarah Palin Called a Family Meeting and the Rabbit Lived", "Pat Buchanan Is A Cracker" and "Life's a Bitch . . . and So Is Dick Cheney." I hope they don't mind me linking to their blog, but I've been LMAO reading it and I just had to share.

I came across Stuff White People Like by doing a Google search of blogs that have been turned into books. This is one of them -- it has a list of about 128 things white people like, like coffee, Barack Obama, yoga, bre…

To Patrick Swayze, Thanks for Everything! BWB

Let me just say right off the bat: I adore drag queens. Adore them. I adore men who appreciate the difficulty women go through trying to embody the idea of what femininity is, what with all the hair removal, foundational undergarments, hair gyrations, makeup application, etc., and not only embrace these tribulations but make them art and take them to a higher level. They make me feel like I have no excuse for being the beauty slacker that I am, except that they seem to enjoy all that preparation way more than I do. RuPaul, The Lady Chablis, Miss J. Alexander, God bless 'em.

I am reminded of drag queens because of the passing of Patrick Swayze. Most remember him for his turns in "Dirty Dancing" and "Ghost," but, being the drag queen fan that I am, I remember him most for his role of Vida Boheme in "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar." In it, Swayze portrayed one of the most stunning drag queens I'd ever seen, even to this day. It wasn&…

Taylor, Welcome to Serena's World

I’m not even going to try to defend it: What Kanye West said to Taylor Swift was wrong, just plain ol’ wrong, wrong as two left shoes. I doubt he would have behaved in the same manner toward any similar up-and-coming black female singer like Ciara or Jazmine Sullivan. I am of the humble opinion that race had something to do with it. Maybe you disagree. Had he tried the same mess with Alicia Keys, though, I bet she would have beat him with a Moon Man like he had stolen something. New Yorkers roll hard. I don’t mess with them.

In my humble opinion, Kanye’s use of Beyonce’s excellence to throw shade on Taylor Swift’s accomplishment is an all-too-common act: Someone diminishing or stealing your achievement because of your race. This type of behavior plays itself out on playgrounds, in classrooms, conference rooms, cubicles and cafeterias, on ball fields and on assembly lines all across America. That said, what Taylor Swift experienced was not any more wrong merely because she exp…

Thanks, Happy Birthday, and How About a Book?

I haven't yet posted on the Serena Williams and Kanye West dust-ups, but I will. But first, a word of thanks to the LA Progressive for reposting my entry on the heckling of President Obama. I'm flattered beyond words that my thought were deemed worthy of republication.

Second, today is my sister The Writing Diva's birthday. I won't tell you how old she is -- that's her business. But I will say that this blog wouldn't have existed but for her encouragement that I "write, write, and then write some more." Thanks also to the folks who continue to encourage me now that I've started -- my siblings, Lei-Chala Wilson, and Roger Duncan. And, last but far from least, thanks to Black Man Not Blogging (BMNB) for listening to me read each and every blog post, usually in the car on our way home from work, and telling me I'm fabulous. Sometimes I actually believe him.

Maybe it's because I saw "Julie and Julia" this weekend, but I'm thinking …

If I Let You Smack My Behind, Can I Be A Lobbyist?

Talk about flying one's freak flag. California Assemblymember Mike Duvall recently resigned after his discussion about spanking one of his two mistresses was picked up by a hot mic in an Assembly hearing room. He went on about how this one mistress, reportedly an energy industry lobbyist, wore "eyepatch underwear" and liked being spanked because she was a "bad girl."

Well, hell, I'm a bad girl. I don't know what eyepatch underwear looks like, but if it's pretty, well, I think I'm qualified to be a lobbyist.

First, let me say that I've never quite understood how lobbyists do what they do. How do you persuade people to support something they're opposed to unless you bribe them, which is illegal? Mind you, I worked for a lobbyist once, a lobbyist who started out as an environmental lobbyist. Talk about a tough tour of duty -- your constituents -- trees, rivers, bears, etc. -- don't vote, don't have money to contribute. Hell, the…

First, Heckling; Then, Throwing Shoes. What Next -- The N Word?

I have been on vacay this week, trying to dig myself and BMNB out of our garage full of twenty years' worth of crap in time for a neighborhood garage sale. I'd been avoiding the Internet, avoiding anything related to work, and not reading the newspaper. I was doing well until I tuned in to watch President Obama's speech to a joint session of Congress on health care reform. I was multi-tasking, I admit, trying to listen and load the dishwasher and sort clothes that had been in storage for five years when I heard the following in response to the President's statement that illegal immigrants would not be covered under health care reform:

"You lie."

WTF? I knew I didn't hear what I thought I'd heard. Considering the audience was, or should have been, members of Congress and high-ranking officials associated with the President, who would dare to call the President of the United States a liar in the Capitol building, on the floor of the House? What idiot woul…