Skip to main content

A Letter to Bobbi Kristina Brown

Dear Bobbi Kristina,

I recently watched the interview you had with Oprah Winfrey. I am so very sorry for your loss and yet so proud of the strength, resilience and courage you showed.

I, too, lost my mother, but at a much later stage in life than you have. I was a huge fan of your mother, and although I never met her, I didn't have to know her to know this:

Your mother loved you profoundly, deeply, unconditionally and completely, and that love will never, ever go away.

As hard as it is to lose one's mother, the one thing that helps me even after all these years -- my mother died almost fourteen years ago -- is to remember what I had. Many people go through this world not ever having been truly loved by their mothers. You see these people every day -- they walk through this world wounded, working out their issues on other people, externalizing the internal hurt they have from the absence of their mother's love.

Not us.

I used to think that every child was as loved by their mothers as I was by mine. Not so. When I grew up and realized this wasn't the case, I realized what a blessing it was to have started my life with someone who loved me because I was hers, who loved me just because, and who loved me just as I was. Having had that foundation prepared me to love and to accept love. Again, not everybody grows up with that loving foundation.

But we did.

I hope that with each day you remember your mother with more joy and less sorrow, more laughter and fewer tears. Like you said in your interview, I'm convinced that she's still "got you," just as I'm convinced that my mom still has "got me." And if you continue to do what she taught you, you'll be alright.

Peace and blessings,

Black Woman Blogging

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hillary Clinton Can Stop Trump -- If She Releases Her Electors

Hillary Clinton isn't going to be President of the United States.  At least not yet.  And not in 2017.

But she can possibly stop Donald Trump from being President by releasing her pledged electors  in the Electoral College to vote for a compromise Republican candidate.

This is part of the strategy of the Hamilton Electors, members of the Electoral College who see that Donald Trump is not qualified to be President.  They argue that the Electoral College's role is not to rubber-stamp the popular vote -- which, in this case, would belong to Clinton -- but to serve as a check on the popular vote to make sure that no one who is unfit assumes the office of President.

According to the Hamilton Electors, named for Founding Father Alexander Hamilton (Yes, he of the very popular musical for which I can't get tickets) Hamilton stated that the Electoral College's test for fitness to be the President was as follows (and I'm quoting):

Election of a Qualified Person: As Hamilton s…

Retired Man Walking: Too Young to Retire, Too Old to Take Shit

A while back I ran into a friend and fellow professional employed by the State of California, and he offered me his perspective on State employment as a tail-end Baby Boomer like myself -- someone who can't retire because he lacks the requisite age or years of service, but, unlike myself, is tired of taking shit from superiors who don't know what to do with you.

Although my friend gave his permission for me to use his name in this blog entry, I decline to do so because what he does is so specialized that it would not be hard for anyone to identify him as one of the few African American men, if not the only African-American man, in California state civil service who does what he does. For purposes of this blog entry, I will refer to him as he now refers to himself:  Retired Man Walking.

Retired Man Walking, or RMW, has an interesting philosophy he applies to working for the State as a professional who isn't old enough to retire but has been around long enough to know the s…

My Prayer and Mantra for 2017 -- Do Not Waste Time on People and Things That Don't Matter

In this era of fake news, fake political candidates, and fake people all around, my prayer and mantra for 2017 is simple:  Do not waste time on people and things that don't matter.

In 2016, I spent too much time and money on things and people who didn't matter.  I allowed myself to become distracted by stuff that, for me and Black Man Not Blogging, didn't really matter for our happiness.  These distractions not only didn't improve the quality of our life together; they decreased it with additional and unnecessary stress.

The good news is that, for the most part, we're okay.  Yeah, Trump and his ilk really suck, but instead of a lot of hand wringing and commiserating, I'm going to do the one thing my late mother She Who  Is Exalted (SWIE) did better than anyone I know:  Play the hand you've been dealt.  My mother was a black female without a college education and with six kids, so playing the hand she was dealt was her survival skill.  Now it will be mine.

S…