If Obama Loses, It's My Fault. No, Really.

If Obama loses in Iowa today, you have no one to blame but me. All me, all the time. Me, Me, Me.

Why?

Because I’m a political jinx. No, really, I am. And I can prove it.

Every political candidate whose campaign I have made a contribution to has lost. Let’s see:

Al Gore, 2000: Made a political contribution, walked precincts, even put a lawn sign on my sister’s lawn against her will. Lost. Well, at least he lost in the Electoral College, which, to me, is obsolete. But I digress.

John Kerry, 2004: Made a political contribution and walked precincts. Lost to a candidate who had already demonstrated himself to be inept and incompetent.

Harold Ford, Jr., 2006. Couldn’t even walk precincts for him since he’s from Tennessee. Of all the African Americans who were running for the U.S. Senate in 2006, he was the only one whose campaign I contributed to. Trust me, I had inside knowledge. I used to live in North Mississippi which, many would argue, is really south Memphis. That meant that, on the weekends, I pretty much lived in Memphis (and if you ever get a chance to go, do check out the ducks at the Peabody Hotel, Memphis in May, and the Pottery Barn outlet). I couldn’t imagine that this son of a seasoned (but somewhat scandalized) Tennessee African American political family wouldn’t be elected to the U.S. Senate. Southerners don’t seem to mind political scandal, to wit: Governor Bill Clinton.

But Ford lost.

And what do all these candidates have in common?

I made a political contribution to their campaigns.

So, with the knowledge that I am a political jinx, I held out on making a contribution to the Obama campaign. Even though I signed up on the Obama website and had received many entreaties to give, I didn’t. You have no idea what a political jinx I am, I thought to myself as I read these pleas from the Obama campaign. Because if you did, you’d be asking me to make a political contribution to Hillary.

Even some of my family members have asked me to make political contributions to politicians they wanted to see lose, knowing the full power of my jinx. Since I didn’t want to be listed as a contributor to any of those folks, I declined.

But, like a moth to a flame, I was drawn in by the December 31st request from no other than Michelle Obama – or at least someone who sent an e-mail using her name. Mrs. Obama told me that if I gave a minimum contribution of $25.00 before midnight, December 31st, my contribution would be matched by another contributor in the U.S.

That’s like a 2 for 1 sale at Macy’s. That’s even better than the BOGO sales at Payless Shoes. (Yes, I shop at Payless Shoes. Get over it.)

Like the cheap consumer that I am, I was drawn in for what amounted to a sale price for my political contribution. And as soon as I clicked on all the boxes stating that I wasn’t affiliated with any political PAC, that I was making the contribution on my own and not on behalf of anyone else, yada, yada, yada, a box popped up informing me that my contribution was going to be matched by Donna W. of Bethesda, Maryland, and would I like to send a personal message to her?

Indeed I would. Indeed I did. Not only did I effectively double my contribution, but I got the pleasure of human connection with a fellow Obama supporter from the other side of the country. It wasn’t until I clicked the “send” button, flinging my personal message to Donna W. in Bethesda into the ether, that I realized just what I had done.

I doomed Obama’s candidacy. All by my lonesome. I knew I was a jinx. I should have gnawed off my fingertips rather than make a political contribution, online no less such that I couldn’t cancel a check, to someone I actually wanted to see succeed.

So, if he loses, you have no one to blame but me.

Now, where’s my checkbook? Might as well make a contribution to Mitt Romney . . . .