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Waitey Katey? More Like In-Law Willies. Ain't Love Grand?

Prince William and Kate Middleton recently announced their engagement. When asked what took them so long, Prince William responded that he wanted to give Kate the chance to witness the incredible pressure of living in a fishbowl and, if she couldn't handle it, to back out.

That may be what they told us, and that may even be what she told him, but I'm betting the truth is a little different.

What no one really talks about with marriage, especially with the newly-engaged, is this: When you marry the person, you marry the person's family.

I don't think it was the prospect of paparazzi that gave Kate cause to pause. I'd bet you dollars to doughnuts she was trying to decide if she could handle living among the royals, not as a royal.

Think about it: As sweet as Prince William may be, but for the jewels, castles, titles, and history, his family would be considered, well, ghetto. His dad, Prince Charles, brought a mistress into his marriage from day one. Not some hot babe, mind you, but a woman who paled in comparison to his wife and looked like a breed mare on her best days. He later voiced his desire to be reincarnated as this woman's tampon. Prince William's brother Harry liked to dress up as a Nazi and may very well be the world's most famous "Mama's Baby, Daddy's Maybe." His aunt, the Duchess of York, previously liked getting her toes sucked in public and most recently got caught on video pimping access to his uncle, her ex-husband. And technically, the whole lot of them are on welfare.

Were Kate some down-on-her-luck commoner with no education, no money, and no prospects, Prince William's family might not be such a potential deal breaker. But given that she comes from money and what appears to be a relatively stable family, she would really have to love this guy to marry into this royally dysfunctional family.

And that's what makes this love story so endearing -- that, knowing what she knows about her in-laws to-be, she's still willing to to marry the guy and join their gene pools. Love never ceases to amaze me.

However, just because you love someone doesn't mean everyone else does. I'm talking to you, Prince Charles. Had you a shred of decency, you'd abdicate instead of giving even a hint of a possibility that the Duchess of Cornwall could be queen and you the nominal head of the Church of England. I'm not a Brit, but even I find that offensive. If Wallis Simpson was unfit to be queen, you know good and well that Camilla shouldn't even be in the running. Should you be so socially tone deaf as to ascend the throne, may I suggest that your mother bestow upon your beloved the title, "Duchess of Ho-Tramp"? Maybe you'd be the "Archbishop of Tampax"?

Ain't love grand?


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